How did I end up here? I remember waking up in a stupor, unaware of person, place or time, but I’d been down that path many times before. So why this time, why now? Why am I living in an assisted living facility and no longer in my apartment? The jokes I made about myself…
We’ve all seen fear, we’ve all felt fearful, but the gravity of fear bestowed upon oneself from another is a reality unto its own. This fear goes beyond anxiety of uncertainty. It’s the fear that comes with certain knowledge of a terrible, unwanted fate. Near death. Fear that a ride to the hospital is a…
My invisible illness story Source: Finding True Happiness
My invisible illness story
In my head, words are perfectly chosen. Phrases? Pithy and erodite. However, somewhere during the journey from brain to hand, those words and pithy phrases get tangled. It’s a frustrating result of too many concussions. I write because I yearn to get the words correct and the thoughts out of my head and down to…
The least among us aren’t the least amongst us all. It was a BINGO Throwdown pitting teams of senior citizens (BINGO-playing experts) with kids, two generations younger, as their partners. It wasn’t competitive, it was empowering. Big-eyed toddlers looked up to their partners for advice and assistance, expecting patience and wisdom. Given the opportunity to…
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Powerful Suggestion.”
Life is complicated, at best. If we are lucky we share our lives with a handful of trustworthy people looking to do nothing more not make life any more difficult, maybe go so far as to have a few laugh, make some memories. And if we’re careful enough not to get in our own way, sometimes the good times roll. Life is way too short let the good times roll right past us because we got caught up looking for perfection in a sea in perfectly wonderful.
I often let others use my camera to capture moments in time, some planned attempt at humor, or a nice group shot. I only recently came to embrace their –full auto– mode to the point that, upon removing lens cap and handing over camera, I automatically turn the dial the to that little green rectangle that was once unfamiliar territory to me. As I’m handing over the camera, I smile and say, “already have in full auto for you.” and I’m rarely given less than a genuine, “Thank you!” in reply. I’m getting quicker about figuring out which situations are best for me to pop off my straight 50 lens and pop on something with some “wide” control on it. I don’t think about repositioning me to get people in the frame and I prefer the DOF that I get out the 50, but it’s nothing but a barrier to capturing the memory and it can even impede the fun for other people.
Does it really matter if a profile candid has background as crisp as the subject or some other object in the foreground. No. Does it matter that I ever tried to let my personal preferences on camera settings let what truly have the potential of last memories ever get in the way. YES!
Much like the kit lens that came with my camera, I needed the ability to widen my view so I could see the bigger picture. Life is about the people, the moment, the story behind the print. If I really feel like I must add something to a photo, there are a thousand different ways to add effects in post and I have all the time I care to spend tweaking sliders up and down but I’ll never get back my actual live moment.
Sometimes life is about getting over ourselves before we can find out how best we fit in or how we can make a difference in our little slice of society. I’m getting there, and while it took some time and it took someone telling how she can’t use my camera with confidence (or with less confidence) if it’s not set to full auto, to realize that just getting the moment is what I need to tell the story…at least I had the lens cap off.
Life is always better together, my friends. Don’t be your own roadblock.
I’m not creative. I’m not even sure I can define what it is to be creative. I’m a results person. I need measurable outcome-based objectives in order to determine success/mastery over some action. While this need to define and assess serves me well most of time, I come to believe that it also keeps creativity…
My computer is filled with images of Jessica. Candids and group shots alike as chronicled by the various events, activities, and random moments of living over the last six months. I found myself scrolling through them earlier and now I struggle with the question: am I capturing life, creating memories with my omnipresent camera or am I chronicling death?
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Wall to Wall.”
The Pantone Color of the Year was has never been the color paint on the walls of my living space. Of course, the walls of my living space are not mine to paint. I can hang things on them. I haven’t. Not sure if there is a “Yet” to be added as a modifier to the previous statement. A tall dressers, a bookcase, a desk, and a general storage unit that was marketed under the “TV Stand with media storage” heading serve to fill wall space pretty well. Moreover, I’m able to strike a balance between showing some personal belongings and utilizing the drawers, shelving space, and various organizational essentials (in interesting shapes and colors) to private things from being on display. This feels important because living in an assisted living facility, privacy is really but an illusion.
To stand and do a 360, one gets a god general overview of the essence of me: I’ve got a PowerPort that is accessed 24/7, so there is quite a bit of medical supplies and I.V. equipment tucked around. I had to move here and either bring, store it, of lose it, so I’ve more life in here than most other residents. But then and again, I have to manage my own life still, so a base of operations is essential.
The wall of my room are safe. You want to know me, try gaining access to my digital world. The various screens on my iPads, laptop, phone, my playlists, photos (and the organizational structure therein), the people I’ll accept as friends on social networks and then the access to information assigned to various groups, even which emails rank VIP, flagged, junk, or standard status will tell you much more about me than anything I’d ever display for anyone to see who may just happen by one day.
I think, in fact, the beige walls paint the truth of willingness to disclose to those who know me well and paint the perfect picture of my complete lack of interest in engaging with the general public. Who knew….
If I’m going to use it in the title, I better link to the video–just in care an Dreaming in Digital sounded famililar.